How can a couple get through difficult times?
Being adaptable and having a good attitude are invaluable in rising above difficult times, such as dealing with chronic illness, in a relationship.
“That’s what we’re talking about by adaptability, because when you have this, you are doing incredible things for your relationship. Like I said at the front end of this interview, every good marriage, no matter how good it is, eventually bumps into something bad, and it’s how you contend with that, how you react to that that will make or break your relationship. By the way, an attitude that … we’re not talking about a Pollyannaish kind of, just be happy anyway. I’m not talking about that. We’re talking about the capacity to maintain your wits about you when things are really tough and difficult.
“When you have that kind of capacity to rise above the circumstances and be positive in spite of them, it’s contagious. Other people around you begin to pick up on that. It’s inspiring. It’s really valuable. It’s so easy to play the blame game. It’s so easy to say, ‘Well, if you would have done this,’ or, ‘If this didn’t happen,’ or, ‘If you just coped differently with this, life will be so much better for all of us.’ When you start to go down that path, it’s a very steep slippery slide into some places you don’t want to go in your relationship. That’s why this capacity to rise above it, to find the right attitude in spite of your circumstances is so valuable.”
Les Parrott, PhD
Center for Relationship Development
Dr. Les Parrott is a psychologist and #1 New York Times bestselling author. He and his wife, Dr. Leslie Parrott, are co-founders of the Center for Relationship Development in Seattle. Their books have sold more than 3 million copies and include: Love Talk, Your Time-Starved Marriage, Crazy Good Sex, The Good Fight, and the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts.
Les and Leslie are founders of the game-changing online tool for couples: DeepLoveAssessment.com. Les has been featured in USA Today, the Wall Street Journal, and The New York Times. He has appeared on a variety of television programs including: CNN, The Today Show, GMA, The View, and Oprah. Visit LesAndLeslie.com.